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Forehead on the mat, arms outstretched, and hip bones sitting back over ankles (or somewhere nearby), I am finally at home in this decaying vessel. Bronson, the svelte, blonde-haired instructor gently moves class from pose to pose, a flowing river of knowledge and movement. I cannot see him. I am the rock. Abruptly dropped onto the silt below, I am unmoving, steady. I have found child’s pose, and I live here now.
The fact I even made it this far was a miracle of Biblical proportion. Seriously, who puts a studio right on top of a Trader Joe’s? The parking lot maze was enough to unravel even the steadiest of humans, but those in need of some calm after a rush hour from hell? Yeah, I was primed for a mid-lot tantrum.
Frazzled, I tried desperately to recenter from the comfort of my yoga mat. I worked through my breath and tried to use the first flow of class to blow out any pent-up stress. Instead, I nearly blew out my back. Sharp needles jabbed my spinal column as I jerkily made my way to downward facing dog. Picturing a rusty door hinge, I feared I might just be stuck like that forever.
Bronson must have thought the same thing (or worse) and he made his way over for some adjustments with a side of unsolicited shame. Turns out I’d reached maximum bend, and even the good intentions of the man-bunned one were not enough to unlock my human puzzle.
I dropped to my knees, silently pleading for relief, and that’s where I found it. Reaching out, elongating my spine, and heaving a long, deep breath, my perceived inadequacy melted away. I felt comfortable and sunk in deeper. Even as the competitive high school hero inside me screams for action, to get up off the mat and keep up the fight, but I have hit the mute button, letting Bronson’s calls wash over me, and then on downstream. Yoga calls us in different directions every day, that’s part of the beauty of the practice. Somedays that journey is the handstand you’ve been practicing for months, and sometimes it’s tucked up like a toddler right before nap time. Either way, fine by me.
