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You are a human being. That means you experience a wide range of emotions each day—and sometimes within a single minute. And though all are welcome, allowing certain feelings to move through us, rather than clinging to them, can be beneficial to our well-being.
Take rage, for example.
“Anger is a very painful emotion—we feel it in our bodies and it can lead to intense physiological arousal,” says psychologist Terri Bacow, PhD. She also notes that holding onto anger can feel especially toxic.
“There are many times when yelling and shouting makes things worse because we get even more riled up,” says Bacow. This sort of leaning in can lead to additional bad behavior, resulting in words and actions that are out of alignment with who you are in chiller times.
Suppressing your feelings may be a no-go, but learning to manage them is a must. Active mindfulness, the sort that forces you out of your head through embodied, even aggressive, movement, is one option.
But if you’re capable of accessing calm through stillness, even in moments of anger, the results may be even more authentic.
“I think there is a misconception that calmer practices like meditation are about avoiding intensity, but really, they invite us to learn how to be with it,” says meditation teacher Dora Kamau. Stillness doesn’t necessarily mean a full-stop, as our thoughts remain in constant motion. Try to think of meditation as an allowing rather than an escape.
No matter what option you opt for, Kamau adds that no single practice is an instant cure-all. “Some days may ask for movement, others may ask for stillness,” she says. “What matters most is listening to your body and honoring where you are in each moment.”
6 Ways to Mindfully Move Though Your Anger
From a guided meditation for anger to a nice, long walk, these mindful practices will help you wade in calmer waters.
1. Do a Full-Body Scan
If you’re looking for a semi-active practice to cool your fiery spirit, a body scan is a one place to start.
“A body scan is a mindfulness meditation practice that involves mentally scanning your body from head to toe, paying attention to the physical sensations you are feeling in your body, without judgment,” explains Bacow. The psychologist notes that the quick practice reduces stress while promoting body awareness and relaxation.
To get started, sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Next, focus your attention on one body part at a time, beginning at the feet and moving upward. “Notice any sensations,” instructs Bacow, listing tension or tightness as easy examples. “You don’t need to change anything—just observe.”
Note: This is a fantastic practice for sleepless nights, too.
2. Meditation for Anger
We know, we know, the last thing you want to do when you’re agitated is sit down and meditate—and that’s kind of the point. Whether practiced amid moments of anger or anytime else, intentional stillness helps make your inner world a more accepting place, even—and especially—if the outside world is in a state of chaos.
”Mindfulness and meditation gently push a person to be in the moment, rather than focusing on the past or the future,” says Bacow. This leads to awareness of how you’re feeling. “We can use that information to decide how to be skillful in our coping strategies,” she says.
Kamau adds that this purposeful pausing, asserting your own pace in a quick and constant world, can be a surprisingly empowering reclamation.
If you’re too upset to get completely quiet, a quick (3-5 minute) guided meditation for anger (or simply for calm) allows you to follow a script toward a better mindset. It also forces you to slow down in the best way possible.
3. Try Diaphragmatic Breathing
When in doubt, take deep breaths.
“It may seem cliche, but it really works!” says Bacow. Inhaling for several seconds, pausing, and slowly exhaling floods the body with soothing oxygen and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, urging the body to calm down. This practice can (and should) be done anytime, anywhere. Bacow suggests starting with square or box breathing: inhale on a four count, pause for four, exhale for four, and pause for four.
Boosting your baseline emotional state is also a win. “Try pausing to do the breathing a few times a day, even when you aren’t feeling stressed,” she says.
4. Take a Walk
You heard us: Walk it off! Even a short stroll or a quick errand can help the anger ebb.
“It will give you a much needed break, space from the situation that is bothering you, and will be a form of what psychologists call ‘behavioral activation,’ says Bacow. “This is when you change your environment or take action to boost your mood.”
While not quite as purposefully driven as more active practices (like stomping, screaming, or dancing), a walk offers a nice balance between seated meditation and something more dynamic.
5. Embrace Distraction
This one may sound like the opposite of mindfulness, but sometimes you need a step between where you are and where you want to be.
“Mindful distraction can truly be a great form of distress tolerance,” says Bacow. She explains that distress tolerance involves improving the moment when you can’t make the situation better right away. Think puzzles, music, a quick shower, a stretch session, even some Netflix. Try to keep the distraction light and pleasant.
6. Phone a Friend
Co-regulation can be a helpful tool when dealing with anger and means seeking the support of a friend or trusted loved one and vent away (without emotionally dumping, of course).
“Often it is difficult to calm down alone, and we need other people to help us and give us support,” says Bacow, adding that this is why therapy can be so effective. “If there is no one you are in the mood to reach out to, give yourself a dose of self-compassion.”
