Today is the most hope and optimism-filled day of the year.
That’s great!
Whatever goals or resolutions you’ve set for yourself, I’m excited for you!
We’re all trying to better ourselves, and even though things haven’t worked out the way we wanted them to in the past, we hope this time will be different.
Musician Nick Cave describes hope as “optimism with a broken heart,” and I think that’s beautifully accurate. We’re all trying to be different when change is so damn hard.
If you’re trying to build a new workout habit or change the number on the scale this year, I salute you. Setting a goal to change is very commendable.
But to give ourselves the best chance of accomplishing our goal, we must combine the goal with some self-reflection and self-awareness.
Here are TWO questions to ask yourself as we begin 2025…
Question 1: What’s different this time?
I’m proud of you for starting again.
But what’s different about this attempt?
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
If you pick the same goal or strategy that you tried (unsuccessfully) in the past, the end result will be the same: another lost year of “why can’t I get my act together?”
So, be deliberate about what’s different this time!
Don’t just “go on XYZ diet” or “give up all sugar forever” or “train for a marathon” again, especially if you’ve tried those things before and couldn’t stick with them.
Something has to be different this time:
- Make fewer changes.
- Pick ONE goal and focus on it.
- Pick a different workout routine.
- Pick a different diet or nutrition change.
- Pick a different time of day to work out.
- Recruit a friend to join you so you’re not doing it alone.
- Make your new desired behavior beneficial or necessary.
Prove to yourself you’ve learned something from your past attempts. Don’t let past failures be in vain – they showed you what doesn’t work for you.
Try something different this time!
Question 2: What are you afraid of?
You’re full of momentum right now, and that’s great.
But three weeks from now, life will happen, and something will go wrong.
What has been your tendency when this happens in the past?
We ask every NF Coaching Client before they start, “What are you most nervous about?”
That answer is something they’re aware of as a result of their past attempts:
Are you going to get busy and decide “to take a break until things slow down?” Great! Now you know when that little voice in your head says this, you can prepare for it, plan to do something differently, and decide that you don’t have to listen to that voice in your head.
Are you going to have one bad day and go totally off the rails? Great! Now you know that when you have one bad day, you can forgive yourself, not look back in anger or guilt, and get right back on track.
Are you going to give up even though you really really really want to push through? Great! This happens to all of us when motivation wanes after a few weeks. Consider adding a Ulysses Pact to guard against your weaknesses or making a bet with a friend to keep you accountable.
NF Coach Matt Myers was recently on the Mental Golf Podcast with Josh Nichols – and at the 24:30 mark in the episode, Matt pointed out something to Josh that surprised him:
“You told me before you started, ‘I know I’m going to come out of the gates HARD, but about 3 weeks in, I’m going to burn out and disappear.’
And I said, ‘Thanks for letting me know,’ and I had all these alarms and alerts ready to check in with you repeatedly around the 21 day mark!”
Josh had the self-awareness to know where he would screw up in the future, he and Coach Matt planned for it, and got over the hump together.
Since then, they’ve worked together for two months (and counting), and Josh has only missed a single day of checking in and missing one day didn’t cause Josh’s normal “all-or-nothing” behavior to kick in!
This time CAN be different
We all set out to change, and even when we’re self-aware…
We often bite off more than we can chew:
Our goals and hopes often exceed the reality that we’re fallible, busy, complicated humans living unpredictable lives.
That’s okay!
If we’re aware of these things, if we can try differently…then even if this next attempt doesn’t work either, we can remove that strategy from the list of potential successful paths, and try again.
That’s all life is anyway: try, fail, adjust, restart.
-Steve
PS: If you don’t want to go on this journey alone, I’d be honored if you check out the NF Coaching Program.
Our coaches are awesome and we’d love to help you reach your goals. We’ve had a TON of sign-ups these past few days, which has me really excited to help so many new people.
